::taylor:: (taylor_made_) wrote in empty_ur_soul,

just want to get this out

i joied this community i little while ago and have been meaning to write in it bout havent gotten the chance~

about i year ago i met this guy he was so sweet to me and respected me treated me like a prinsess and i was in love with him but about 2 months in to it we started fooling around and lets just say he was my first kiss and everything~ (so yes i was very nieve) and i just couldent say no to him because i was afraid id loes him~ so it was around that time that i started cutting myself and just becomming very depressed and violent so about the 5th month in to it i had enought and i said no and he stoped then me him and his "best friend" went in to his back yard to smoke out and after my first hit i felt very woosey and i couldent see strait (i got really scared) then i passed out when i woke up he was in front of me and his best friend was behind me fucking me~ i couldentbelive my eyes i scremed and yelled but they wouldent stop so finey i had to push them off of me and get out of there i didnt even put me pants back out i ran out of the house with just a shirt and pantys on... so the next day i couldnet face any one and i ditched school~ i went to my best frinds house and hung out~ so we were sitting in his bad just talking and kinda "flirting" (its both our personalitys)and i lend over him and he kissed my neck so i kised him back and so on a so forth.. but i had to tell my boyfriend because afterall he was my boyfriend and i "loved" him~ but he broke up with me~ well that devastated me and i couldent handle it my cutting was worste then even i was taking pain pills andi just losted it~ so ended up trying to kill myself and i poped over 200 pills and luckliy my mom showed up or i would have been dead... so she called 911 and i was rushed to the hospital~ i had my stomich pumps twice and was in the hopstal/rehad for a month

you guys are probly wondering why the hell im saying all this but heres the deal on the info page of this communtiy is a colorbar aobut sextul vilonce so i figured that somewhere in thei community someone was a victum just like me and i wanted to let them no there not alone and just to reminded people that even though at the time you feel ready to say yes the second you say no and they dont stao its there ass not yours!!!

well thatnks to all of you who actully read this i would love comments

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